 | The Trial Period. When you first set up your household, there should be a period of
time in which you and your roommate(s) concentrate on just being yourselves and living the way
you want (within reason, of course). Do not try to anticipate your roommate's likes and dislikes.
If you have always listened to the stereo for an hour before falling asleep, now is not the time
to change the habit just because you don't think your roommate will like it. The idea is to do the
things you want to do and feel comfortable doing. |
 | Likes And Dislikes. During the trial period, keep a list (mentally or on paper) of the
things your roommate does that bug you, and things you think are terrific. Don't get hung up on
the negatives. If you think the fact that your roomie can smile first thing in the morning is
great, tell them so. By the same token, if the sound of Bruce Springsteen at 6:00 a.m. makes you
queasy, now is the time to talk about it. |
 | Reevaluation. After a week or two of "doing what comes naturally," and making your
respective lists, you should set aside some time for a long talk about the ways your living
styles clash or go well together. Be honest, but avoid calling the other person or his ideas
petty, wrong, or anything else derogatory. Frankly discuss what you cannot tolerate, are
indifferent to, or really enjoy. Where your differences are severe, you must both compromise,
or it could be one very, very long year together.
Remember that the potential for hurt and/or
anger is very high. Neither your life-style, nor that of your roomie, is inherently good or bad,
just different. Tread gently on another's ego. |
 | After You Talk It Out. Although you have talked
out your problems, and maybe made some compromises, you are far from finished. Keep the lines of
communication open. If something new bothers you, or your compromises are just not working, talk
to your roommate. The idea is to keep life running smoothly.
Many roommates try to have
pre-planned household meetings periodically (maybe once or twice a month) so they can sit down
over coffee or dinner and talk business. Besides talking about your personal problems or
accomplishments, this is a good time to decide things like who is going to deal with the
landlord when something needs to be fixed.
Living with someone else is not just a matter of
hanging in there until June. It means really working at having a place you feel good about coming
home to after a long day on campus or at work. | |
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